When the big Cut was away on one of his many formice trips, the small Cuts saw an opportunity for mischief. They ditched their usual modest rides and opted for cutthroat vehicles, cruising from Car Bull Longer to the Car Be Net office in style.
For a while, the big Cut remained oblivious, despite cryptic yangena yachoka messages from the government fuel depot phone.
But when whispers of dwindling imported expensive fuel reached his ears—threatening to leave the leadership completely finished, as Comic Taboo would say—the Cut sprang into action.
He cut everything except his foreign travels. He cut cars, motorcades for security personnel, trolley carts, and even cattle coach carts. The hope? That the smaller Cuts would start riding Corollas. Since ascending to power, he has been testing them, urging them to embrace his philosophy of “Don’t do as I do.”
But alas, frugality was a foreign concept in Up N Down. Daily reminders about cuts fell on cut ears. The smaller Cuts pretended to listen but flunked the fuel test—ditching Cut Cheap Corollas (CCC) in favor of Very Expensive Xorollas (VEX).
At first, it seemed they were catching on. The big Cut tried by cutting his salary, at least publicly, while getting his other perks, traveling with just one bodyguard from Beijing, and even rotating between one black shoe and one brown one. But no matter how deep he cut, the smaller cuts remained cutless. They stood in confusion, blamed the opposition, and continued their lavish lifestyles.
In anger, the big Cut declared that all VEXes were to be sold for a song. To cut a long story short, the small Cuts were vexed—but being the cunning creatures they were, they quickly formed a cartel. Using their spouses and children, they bought back their VEXes at a discount. And just like that, the big cut’s grand cutting exercise was cut short.
For a while, the big Cut remained oblivious, despite cryptic yangena yachoka messages from the government fuel depot phone.
But when whispers of dwindling imported expensive fuel reached his ears—threatening to leave the leadership completely finished, as Comic Taboo would say—the Cut sprang into action.
He cut everything except his foreign travels. He cut cars, motorcades for security personnel, trolley carts, and even cattle coach carts. The hope? That the smaller Cuts would start riding Corollas. Since ascending to power, he has been testing them, urging them to embrace his philosophy of “Don’t do as I do.”
But alas, frugality was a foreign concept in Up N Down. Daily reminders about cuts fell on cut ears. The smaller Cuts pretended to listen but flunked the fuel test—ditching Cut Cheap Corollas (CCC) in favor of Very Expensive Xorollas (VEX).
At first, it seemed they were catching on. The big Cut tried by cutting his salary, at least publicly, while getting his other perks, traveling with just one bodyguard from Beijing, and even rotating between one black shoe and one brown one. But no matter how deep he cut, the smaller cuts remained cutless. They stood in confusion, blamed the opposition, and continued their lavish lifestyles.
In anger, the big Cut declared that all VEXes were to be sold for a song. To cut a long story short, the small Cuts were vexed—but being the cunning creatures they were, they quickly formed a cartel. Using their spouses and children, they bought back their VEXes at a discount. And just like that, the big cut’s grand cutting exercise was cut short.
