The great leader had just returned from one of his many trips abroad and was busy enjoying a cup of mango juice, being a total teetotaler, when a clean-shaven, middle-aged executive was ushered into his well-lit communal room.
“Your majesty, Aim High from the Environmental Management Authority—in your absence five people in your kingdom committed suicide using a pesticide called dumu.” The king retorted with a wry smile and asked Aim High from EMA to cut the crap by providing a solution.
With struggles, Aim High mumbled something: “when the suicides occurred, I called for an urgent board meeting on lake Kariba where we came up with a solution to this calamitous abomination.”
Well known as a methodical and patient king, he allowed AH to compose himself and casually asked for a solution. “my king we need to completely ban vi dumu pesticide.” The king gave out a chuckle and followed it up with incisive questions.
“Iwe Aim High, what will happen to my farmers? How come your same team authorized the use of products that have dumu ingredients in the Lower Zambezi? For a moment Emma was bemusedly dumbstruck as he found himself being escorted out.
As the king on his pamupando was just about to take another sip, a disconsolate civil society cheerleader, in high heels, who had been very vocal against the previous king, was given a stool. “Forgive my intrusion, great king; I come to report that the five suicide victims had the audacity to do it live on social media.” The king was now getting a bit irritated and straightaway asked for a solution.
“Long live my king—we called for a civil society indaba at More Languish conference center to discuss the suicidal waves…” Before she could proceed, the king’s baritone voice interjected, “What is the solution?”
Oozing confidence, she blubberingly said something like, “Ban Facebook and introduce a cybercrime bill.” The king, who has the largest following on social media, was awestruck. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry and howled to the guards to throw her out.
Once alone, the king bowed down and wept before offering a prayer to God.
“My God, what is happening to this great kingdom? A few days ago an electrician wanted to confuse my entire kingdom with abnormal sunlight tariffs. Why are my advisors confused? How can I lead bootlickers, praise singers, and naïve media personnel? Lord, grant me wisdom to see through this heightened hypocrisy. I need clear thinkers in my kingdom!
As he said Amen, I also woke up from my slumber after a drop of rain hit my forehead. So my house leaks, ayi?
“Your majesty, Aim High from the Environmental Management Authority—in your absence five people in your kingdom committed suicide using a pesticide called dumu.” The king retorted with a wry smile and asked Aim High from EMA to cut the crap by providing a solution.
With struggles, Aim High mumbled something: “when the suicides occurred, I called for an urgent board meeting on lake Kariba where we came up with a solution to this calamitous abomination.”
Well known as a methodical and patient king, he allowed AH to compose himself and casually asked for a solution. “my king we need to completely ban vi dumu pesticide.” The king gave out a chuckle and followed it up with incisive questions.
“Iwe Aim High, what will happen to my farmers? How come your same team authorized the use of products that have dumu ingredients in the Lower Zambezi? For a moment Emma was bemusedly dumbstruck as he found himself being escorted out.
As the king on his pamupando was just about to take another sip, a disconsolate civil society cheerleader, in high heels, who had been very vocal against the previous king, was given a stool. “Forgive my intrusion, great king; I come to report that the five suicide victims had the audacity to do it live on social media.” The king was now getting a bit irritated and straightaway asked for a solution.
“Long live my king—we called for a civil society indaba at More Languish conference center to discuss the suicidal waves…” Before she could proceed, the king’s baritone voice interjected, “What is the solution?”
Oozing confidence, she blubberingly said something like, “Ban Facebook and introduce a cybercrime bill.” The king, who has the largest following on social media, was awestruck. He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry and howled to the guards to throw her out.
Once alone, the king bowed down and wept before offering a prayer to God.
“My God, what is happening to this great kingdom? A few days ago an electrician wanted to confuse my entire kingdom with abnormal sunlight tariffs. Why are my advisors confused? How can I lead bootlickers, praise singers, and naïve media personnel? Lord, grant me wisdom to see through this heightened hypocrisy. I need clear thinkers in my kingdom!
As he said Amen, I also woke up from my slumber after a drop of rain hit my forehead. So my house leaks, ayi?
